Interaction within society is complex. Many factors influence people on how to respond in different situations. Economics, education, and ancestry will create a generalized way of relating to others. Layer on top of this mix age, gender identity, regional behaviors, spiritual beliefs and learning styles to bring further moments of difference between us. In order to understand and relate with others, it’s often wise to look within to first understand what matters most to you.
An available tool for self-exploration is the MBTI. Myers Briggs Type Indicator providing 16 personality types who perceive and function in unique ways.
A visit to the website: https://psychcentral.com/ for an MBTI assessment
A double check at https://www.123test.com/ to confirm results
ISTJ – The Duty Fulfiller (Introverted – Sensing – Thinking – Judging)
Introverts tend to be reflective, reserved and private. A popular misconception is that Introverts are shy – this is not necessarily so. They draw their energy from their own thoughts and the time they spend alone. Introverts do not need people around them all the time.
Sensors live in the present. They rely on facts, handle practical matters well and like things to be concrete and measurable.
Thinkers make decisions using logic and impersonal analysis. They think with their heads rather than their hearts.
Judgers prefer a lifestyle that is decisive, planned and orderly. They like a life that is organized and controlled.
ISTJ prefer daily life to be calm and flow in a comfortable, reliable way. Each day of the week has a routine and purpose. The patterns set in and revolve around tasks.
Routine is Queen: A glimpse into daily life of an ISTJ
Sunday – Sleep until naturally awoken by sunlight. Usually around 8 a.m. Wash face with warm water. Enjoy a yummy breakfast of homemade favorites such as pancakes, scrambled eggs and sausage or croissant and jam with mascarpone cheese. Of course, a pot of piping hot green tea accompanies the meal.
The cats are fed at the same time and we all lounge away on the sofa enjoying a quiet start to the day.
All house chores should have been completed Saturday, but, if it’s a sunny day, another load of wash is done and put out to dry in the sun. On warm, mild days, all the windows are opened for fresh air circulation. It’s high on the list of must do’s to refresh the house. Any dishes in the kitchen sink are washed. Bed is fixed.
Typically, all clothing for the work week are laid out and ironed. Even the socks are hung with the apparel for the day. The night before each work day, jewelry to be worn with the outfit is left out for the morning.
Around 9 or 10 a.m. a snack of fresh fruit and tree nuts is enjoyed.
House chores continue until around 11 or so. If there aren’t any to do, perhaps a walk around town will happen. Or, if it’s a hot summer day, typically I take off for the town beach. A most favorite pastime is sunning and swimming for about two hours at the lake during the summer season.
Lunch time in summer is typically a protein meal replacement drink and salad. A rest until around 2 p.m. happens as it is too hot to garden, but a lovely time to be in a cool room reading.
In the afternoon, another load of wash may be done depending on the weather. Two hours are given to house maintenance or the yard with weeding or gardening. Around 4 p.m. it’s time for late afternoon tea. Iced tea in summer, hot black tea in cooler months. The small meal includes a treat, fruit, yoghurt, and chocolate.
Around 5 p.m. or so, the bath or shower washes off the day. I bathe at night or late in the day instead of first thing in the morning. Around 6 p.m. it’s time to make dinner. Around 7 p.m. I will do some clean up in the kitchen otherwise, it’s time to relax with reading or watching TV. Bedtime tends to be early, around 9 p.m. or so.
Monday – Friday
Up at 5:30 a.m. reluctantly, it takes two alarms to get me up, especially in winter as I prefer not to rise in the dark. Also, the many HSP traits internally rebel at artificial light in the morning. Its soothing low night lights and beeswax candles until the sun rises.
Breakfast can be scrambled eggs and sausage, cereal or waffle with tea
Dress and leave by 7:15 a.m.
Work – lunch break is either a 40 minute walk, yoga or visit to farm stand
5 p.m. – depending on errands, weather or cash flow, either yard work or some chore is done. Dinner is by 6 p.m. and evening is typical of Sunday. At times, I’ve had a routine of a book club meetup or writers group. For several years, horses were part of the late afternoon and weekend routine. I’ve had three month pool club memberships in winter for exercise. There’s something to do that is enjoyable once per week outside the home.
Saturday – Sleep until woken by sunlight. Enjoyable breakfast then right into chores. The house is swept, vacuumed and cleaned. Blankets and rugs are aired out. The bed is aired. House care continues until complete. In summer, I enjoy swimming and sunning at the lake with gardening late afternoon. Lunch time varies with the season and can be a homemade soup, leftovers or protein meal replacement.
Once the spring season begins, there is a routine of house maintenance and care that starts and ends by mid-October. Windows are washed. The sun porch is cleaned and washed. The walls, doors, cabinets and floors are washed inside the house. All the rugs and curtains are cleaned and aired in the sun. This ISTJ believes that sunlight is the best disinfectant. Everything is better if allowed to sit out in the sun. This means wood furniture is taken outside, washed and aired once a year. Most of the furniture is lightweight maple or rattan. It’s easy to move around.
Sometimes there’s an afternoon free to take a walk in the woods, a favorite pastime of old. Often, free time in the winter is blogging, reading, or cooking. For several years, I gave time to improving Italian language skills in preparation for travel.
Where are the people? Introverts enjoy the company of others in a quiet way. There’s enough stimulation in the work place to require down time for recharging and rebalancing the psyche. Endless chatter and involvement is tiring to most ISTJ’s. We are logical, practical, folks who get things done and move on. Relationships are important and people matter, however, others don’t tend to come first. It’s not that the ISTJ is self-involved or selfish, it’s just expected to mind your own business unless it’s necessary to involve others.
MYOB or Who Asked You?
Dilemmas in relations arise when others cross the boundary of what “your own business” means.
Example: ISTJ’s are polite and respect others personal space. We’re skilled at perceiving patterns in behavior, reading emotions and other sensory cues to tell us the condition of another being at the moment. We don’t act on the awareness. Here is the boundary in action.
On Saturday, I made a routine visit to the local recycle center and stopped in the swap shed. Always on a budget, several useful items were found. Two other people were in the shed as well. I walked past, no greeting, and in my space. I put aside my items, the women suddenly started talking, saying something about the items. She never looked at me, said hello or acknowledged my presence, she just started talking out loud. This behavior is not unusual in Americans. Without asking or in any way signaling a desire to speak or interact, an opinion is given. This crosses several boundaries of complete strangers stepping into personal space indirectly. It’s rude. Who asked you? This behavior may be perceived by some to be casually friendly. ISTJ’s may perceive this as MYOB. People do this routinely at grocery stores.
ISTJ’s like the ritual of greeting before starting a conversation of any kind. A blurt right into a sentence about sports teams performance to a stranger in the checkout lane is startling. Why is it assumed I watch sports on TV? Taking a casual stroll down Main Street one day, two people walking towards me when suddenly the man starts talking out loud, “you don’t need the umbrella!” The tone was sharp, he was not looking at me directly but was nonetheless addressing what I was doing as I walked toward their space. My ISTJ reaction was to stay in my walking lane and ignore him. To myself, I thought he was rude. Who asked you?
ISTJ’s aren’t comfortable engaging in small talk generally and find it intrusive for when strangers do so. Being casual in public is not the norm. Being polite, alert and staying neutral is the norm. ISTJ’s respond well to good manners and sincere interests from others. They traditionally can identify those who play games in relationships and tend to avoid false interactions.
ISTJ’s are typically secure in their own shoes and won’t respond well to signals from others who prefer to be popular. Some MBTI types get upset they encounter an MYOB style. Actions and words may be directed toward the ISTJ simply to get a reaction. This behavior may be the quickest way to create a distance between the two MBTI types. Force relations, force opinions and force “friendly” is a turn off. Many customer service clerks get annoyed when an ISTJ comes along. It’s a simple cash transaction. Buy, bag and go. The false greeting, false interest and overly familiar small talk is a turn off. What may be perceived as a friendly interaction may be received as an intrusive encounter. MYOB is king.
An INTJ (Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) is one of 16 personality types. The type is determined by taking the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator Instrument 
My results are more often INTJ, commonly referred to as Mastermind or Scientist. Mr. Spock from Star Trek is an example of a male INTJ. His Vulcan side grounded him in a preference for logic, order and deductive reasoning. His human side helped him reflect on relational interactions and consider ambiguous options to accomplish a task.
LuceStellare 