My MBTI personality type assessment outcome is routinely INTJ or ISTJ. Every test is slightly different, and of course, I am different on the day it is taken. In reviewing forums or articles on the female INTJ-ISTJ,, it’s not unusual to find similar traits for these two types including, introversion, independence, intelligence, organizational skills,, deep listeners, deep thinkers, non-verbal, distant and intimidating.
INTJ Strengths
INTJ’s have strong powers of deductive reasoning and innovation. It’s okay when things change. In fact, they’d rather sort out problems on their own and are not comfortable in group work. They are social beings but prefer interaction with a few individuals.. INTJ’s enjoy quiet, peaceful, orderly and predictable environments. They are fastidious, industrious and highly organized.
ISTJ Strengths
ISTJ’s have strong powers of focus, thrive in routines, follow the rules and prefer stability. They’d rather work things out with a few colleagues or go alone. They are not comfortable in group work. They are social beings but prefer interaction with close family or friends; the fewer the better. ISTJ’s prefer quiet, restful, neat and predictable environments. They are fastidious, industrious and highly organized.
Both groups are aware of their feelings and can be swayed by emotion, impulse and wants. Mature INTJ”S and ISTJ’s have accumulated life experience and rely on mistakes to guide future actions. They value inner wisdom gained by social interactions. However, sooner rather than later, feelings as being the driver in decision-making are recognized and not allowed to rule, especially when it comes to finance, education and employment. If they give into their passions, reality will intervene and prevent consequences such as bad investments, negative relationships and toxic work environments.
INTJ-ISTJ Characteristic – Intimidating
Early Focus on Independence
I figured out as a teenager, that office work environments are complex. The idea of being inside all day long, sitting at a desk, milling around people and following rules sounded like a cage. As an introvert, the need to separate from the crowd was strong. It’s important to be out in nature everyday. The only career goal I had at the time was to work with horses. The attraction was a job that required physical labor, being out-of-doors often and of course, beautiful horses. It took me a while to find the courage to separate from my childhood routines. The ISTJ side of me likes things to stay the same. However, by the age of 21, the goal was achieved. I found work on a small private estate first in Rhode Island and a few years later, in New Jersey and stayed well out of the limelight of traditional workforce until age 28.
Intimidation in Work Environments
The first time a manager said a male co-worker was afraid of me I was completely surprised. My work style is to do my job, keep quiet, share very lightly about home life and take a walk almost every lunch hour. The intimidated man was a retiree hired to do the mail run managed out of the office I worked in daily. Our employer was a living history museum in Massachusetts. The reaction had something to do with the way I walked into an office and spoke.
Here was the first sign of office interactions I dreaded so many years ago. Everyone brings in different strengths and goals on the job. I truly work to live. Yes, I spoke with others and sought out companionship. In fact, I am still casually friendly with two of the office staff almost twenty years later. It was the man who struggled, and only some men. I thought it might be that I had worked with horses for so long. It’s important to develop the ability to take charge with these big animals. The horse has to yield, never by force, but by energy. The human is in charge. Good horse handles walk into the barn and take charge. It keeps everyone safe.
Style of Communication Non Traditional
I participate in discussion forums and understand INTJ females talk in a straight, unemotional guy like manner. The directness, clarity and energy are not typical of a woman. Some men are confused by the signals being given out. She’s female, but she’s taking the lead. It must have been this he picked up. I am not a type A personality, rather I’ve learned to be self-sufficient and rarely wait for a task to be completed, preferring to figure it out and do it myself. Again, working on a private horse farm, I had to be capable of managing a horse on my own. I had to drive a truck and trailer with a live animal inside. I cleaned out a barn of 5 to 10 horses, ran a tractor and exercised horses daily. It’s very normal to manage these tasks alone. I never thought twice about it.
Feminist Influence
Also, I am a feminist at heart and idolized Gloria Steinem from about age 11, I was born in 1960 and came of age during the height of the equal rights movement in the United States. Once in a while, I would share this fact publicly and some men and women often reacted by backing up a step or two. Steinem intimidated the crap out of many people, yet she never raised her voice but spoke with direct, intelligence.
The message taken in was a woman had choices. It wasn’t necessary to live in a traditional family setting. The best thing for a woman was a solid education and ability to support herself. If marriage and child rearing are your choice, still understand, the situation can change at any moment and you need to be self-supporting. Dependence on others is an option, however, remember to follow your instincts and fulfill your needs first. This is not traditional female talk. She suggested the norm isn’t the norm for everyone. Steinem shook things as they are completely. An independent woman was rare. Many women identify themselves through their family and children. I hear it and see it daily.
A few years ago, I had the privilege of being in the audience at a speech Steinem gave in Worcester, MA. The year was 2005 and there it was, I learned almost everything I am today from Steinem. I forgot how strong her message sunk into my psyche. I lived a life I chose, still do.I am not married and did not have children due to an awareness of overpopulating the planet and being users of resources that are irreplaceable. The message, be a friend to Earth and not a burden, appealed to me and was a strong driver behind not following the norm of home and family. I walk my talk and rarely explain my choices to anyone. For some reason, people find this behavior intimidating. Steinem might be an ENTJ, the outward projecting side of this MBTI personality type.
Drama in the Office
Conflicts in the workplace are completely normal. Over the years, I’ve seen a pattern emerge in where a coworker is annoyed or upset about my behavior, but often cannot say why. INTJ females don’t normally exchange superficial chat. Girl talk tends to swirl around kids, partners, dining out, fashion and domestic concerns. My talk tends to be around taking care of my house, gardening chores, places I’ve lived, travel tales or my cats. I love horses and Star Wars and can rattle on about these topics easily. I had a coworker that began her work shift at 10 a.m., and would walk in and start venting her morning experience of family and child. Often it was ranting about late for the bus or other personal domestic pettiness. I shut that down. There was no way I was going to listen to someone dump everyday at work. This seemed to annoy the coworker. She found someone to share the details with and it was both of them that levelled a complaint. The exact nature of the complaint was vague when i asked for it be made clear. After a discussion or two, it seemed to revolve around the lack of personal emphasis with her. In other words, I kept a professional distance, did my job, expected her to do hers and focused on tasks rather than a relationship. SHE IS NOT MY FRIEND. I don’t like or dislike coworkers, it doesn’t go there. We are not INVOLVED at this level. I believe INTJ-ISTJ are sophisticated enough to keep the domestic out of the workplace. Women and a fair amount of men, prefer to blend both private and public life without effort. I cannot do this. There is a strong need to retain privacy and that it be respected by strangers. Office workers are strangers. We are employed for an income. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. I think this is the rub. The coworker demonstrated gossipy, needy and confused tendencies routinely. There were strong signs of poor office skills and a lack of initiative. As I wasn’t her supervisor, I kept my distance. This seems to have been her problem. I kept a professional, personal distance and was comfortable working in this manner. She couldn’t handle it.
INTJ-ISTJ have an intense MYOB outlook. Mind your own business rules. The revelation of private, family or relationship activity is almost offensive. The sense of privacy is strong and when others exhibit a lack of boundaries, this creates a sense of wanting to withdraw from relations.
TMI – Privacy Preferred
The phrase TMI, too much information, resonates well with female INTJ’s. What’s the point of complaining and going on about people I don’t know and concerns that I am not involved in. It’s not my problem. I had to live through a messy, public divorce a manager went through on the job somewhere. I absolutely hated it. We were exposed to phone call fights and crying fits of her intimate personal problems. This is repulsive to INTJ’s. In public, it’s highly unwanted to experience displays of emotion. Women do this more often than men.
INTJ/ISTJ value privacy, theirs and others. Exposure of strong emotions in a public place, among colleagues or strangers is considered very rude. Loud voices and sobbing are done at home, with family or the most dear of friends. I believe INTJ/ISTJ define friendship differently than most other MBTI personality types. A friend is an intimate, a confidente, we tend to not have many as the relationship needs to be reciprocal. A lot of people take away energy and time without sharing the experience of another. INTJ’s pick out, the all about me folks right away and keep a distance. They are bores. Introverts conserve energy, talkative bores expand and tax the energy of an introvert. Nothing of value has been exchanged.
So, I am a woman, independent, self-reliant by choice. I was hired by one boss because of these traits. He thought I would not be so easily intimidated by the male dominated workforce I was supporting. Despite the fact that I feel as helpless and lost as anybody else anyday, I give off confidence and an attitude of don’t mess with her.
Quiet Confidence
INTJ-ISTJ are quietly, competent and strong. We live in our own power and guard it carefully. We are thoughtful about others and realize people may be dealing with difficult issues. We all do. However, we keep it someplace else.
During my lifetime, I learned along the way that everyone bites. Sooner or later, people will take a chunk out of you in some way. There’s a keen sense of self-protection against being taken advantage and also, not waiting to be rejected. Perhaps in another article, I will provide insight into the family life, it was not a healthy domestic scene. Most families are not. There was physical, mental, emotional and spiritual neglect in the household. Much of it certainly has influenced a life view. Too many times, I had to pick myself up, save myself and eventually, learned to be my best friend.
INTJ/ISTJ females are direct in speech habit, but they also see clearly the character of people around them. We pick up nonverbal cues and fit them into a pattern of expected behaviors and outcomes. We also bow down to no one. Authority figures aren’t above us either. We don’t act like a female yet we are. This is confusing and maybe that is what creates the intimidation. People don’t know what I may do or say next. I give off the vibe that I don’t need others. A lot of folks cannot handle this energy in a woman.
To this day, I still think it has a lot to do with horses. I pair so much easier with a horse than a human. We get each other, find our connections and make a bond. I respect their strength and beauty. They are smarter than me in many ways. I admire horses and how much they give. They could buck us off any second, yet go along with jumping, trail riding and traveling on trailers.
A childhood hero of mine is Bob Dylan. I am old enough to recall the power of his words and music during the 1960s.. He called attention to social and domestic concerns. His music had something to say. I loved his look, his words and intentions behind the words. In his voice, I could hear and connect to what he was trying to say. The song, “Positively 4th Street” strikes me as pure INTJ. The words, the picture painted with the words tell a classic tale of INTJ reality in too many situations. Above all else, INTJ-ISTJ women won’t make things better, won’t deny the hardships in life, won’t hide the pain of betrayal and ignorance. Dylan let it out in this song.
LuceStellare 