In the summer of 2017, the horse bug bit again and it was about time to be with them once more. Over the past twenty five years, there had been a chance or two to be with horses but it didn’t stick. The push came out of a series of vivid dreams about starving, confined horses living under my childhood home. The dire circumstances are uncovered. The dream vanishes as I feed, water and let them out into the sunshine.
The dreams came on and on. They were so insistent I looked into starting an equine rescue. A flood of energy, almost a will, took over with these thoughts. Cash, it takes mountains of cash to support horses in Massachusetts. At the time, I didn’t even have a backyard to stable one. Well, there has to be two, horses don’t care to live alone.
Maybe for a while, I volunteered at a rescue nearby. The problem was too many hands and no horse time. I gave it a go for a few months. A lesson or two came and went. The skill was there! The cost was too high. I had to set the will aside.
A chance came again to be around horses three years ago. This time, I found the gumption to get back on and ride. All the swimming, yoga and gardening over the years didn’t mean diddly. My body was pretty sore after a few rides. How did I get so crooked! My hip, shoulder, the whole left side is up, rides higher than the right. It’s so weird! I could ride with my stirrup leather one hole higher to get things equal.
The cost is still too high. But, I go. The one unfulfilled goal from forty years ago will not go away. It’s a separate force of energy and not me. I want my own horse.
Emma. This year, I have the great pleasure to be with Emma. She’s not young. Life’s been a little demanding on her. She’s become indifferent to the two legged s. Becky says she’s hard to ride. She is sensitive and prefers her own company. Emma wants to be in a quiet place. It’ll be Friday and Sunday afternoons we’ll have our rides. She’s for sale! Too much ☹ We could negotiate, but it’s the monthly bill that’s too much. One of us would end up eating rice and beans forever. As strong as the will is, it’s not delusional.
Years ago, before I fell in love with horses again, I had fun in finding out my patronus from J.K. Rowling’s webpage. It was a magical moment to see a Black Mare cantering out of the misty night forest. I haven’t lost this bit of news. Is it Emma?
“Black Mare – This animal is typical for people who show strong motivation in life and usually represents passion, determination, and an appetite for freedom. Black is a relatively uncommon coat color, so this could represent a part of your personality that you’d rather keep hidden or just reveal to your personal circle. This specific color could also refer to instinctual urges of your mind for the unknown and mysterious.” Source Mugglenet.com
Well, I have an independent nature and keep my thoughts private. I might share something personal from time to time but that’s not common. My true nature is hidden. I talk to the horses. Their energy is calming.
“Patronus Analysis 034 Black Mare. If this is your patronus then you express yourself freely and have a true and honest Soul. You do not hide the truth and express your emotions well. Those with the Black Mare are gentle and kind of heart. This patronus is common in all houses but least common in Slytherin.” Source Patronus Meaning on Tumblr.
You do not hide the truth and express your emotions well! Yes, the INTJ in me tends to fall on the reality side. We’re not good at games and prefer authentic relationships. They are actually quite rare. Horses play games. They can be quite funny together. Happy, herding creatures in search of sweet grass.
Sunday was a good ride. When we went to the outside ring, she snorted and huffed at the white picnic table that had moved since Friday. Check it out dear, it’s a silly table. We sauntered into the ring. I slipped a bit getting on. Fifty-eight year old legs don’t swing on so easy now. She called out to the other horses. Emma didn’t like being the only horses outside on this murky, cloudy almost rainy afternoon. Becky said she gets marish around other horses. So she’s lonely now! Horses neighed back. It’s okay.
She did tune in after a while. She loosened up and had a lovely swing in her walk. The ground poles gave her trot a lift. She didn’t surge on so much. We’re getting the signals together. This being our sixth ride only, still sorting out how to say in contact with Emma. Some bit champing. Some bending. Smooth halts, transitions still out of sync.
Emma is an Oldenburg from Iron Springs Farm. A fancy sport horse trained up to 4th level dressage. She’s got the moves but has become hard in the mouth. No contact, no connection. This horse is fine. Becky said the surges I feel are impulsion. I have the privilege of riding a horse that has her own impulsion. She has a lot to teach me.
Fridays and Sundays light up with the glory of Emma 🙂 The dream rides on.
LuceStellare 